I, Tonyan (11-2) 141.5 v Scottsdale Hounds (6-7) 111.0
Finally! A recap for a team with some semblance of hope. I’d like to apologize for the somber tones of the previous recaps, but in reality it’s god who should be apologizing to me. They’re the one who slammed the gavel of injury and malperformance down upon my humble array of fantasy teams. God should apologize, not me. Anyhoo! I, Tonyan has been my best performing team all year and I’m 100% making playoffs. This may be the last fantasy recap of the year so it feels quite serendipitous that I do my best team last.
The questionable characters over at Scottsdale Hounds suffered an agonizing defeat this weekend due to the lack of support from Brandon Aiyu-Gonna-Be-Okay and Someone-Call-His-Mom-Dre Stevenson. Helpless, all SH could do was cry out “For Nick Folk’s sake! Chris God-When will you stop scoring? I’m about to Noah Faint from this savage beat down!” Conversely, I,T was Terry McPourin’ it on thanks to supreme efforts from Kyler Murryriad-Of-Yards, Elijah Mitc-Hella-Touchdowns, and Hunter Renfr-Okay-Graham-You’ve-Made-Your-Point.
The good people over at I, Tonyan Inc. hope you’ve enjoyed this edition of Fantasy Recaps and would like wish everyone a warm and joyous holiday season. And if your fantasy team isn’t making ‘yoffs, we would like to formally invite you to live vicariously through I, Tonyan’s unfaltering success. Merry Crimbus and Happy Chunkah.