I, Tonyan (7-1) 79.0 v I Succop Cock (2-5-1) 65.5
Wahoo and Waluigi everyone! Fall is in the air and so is my imminent fall in this leagues standings. You may be saying, “Graham, it says your record is 7-1, why the long face?”. Well my scrupulous friend, I’d like to call your attention to the player in the second row on I, Tonyan. It’s Derrick “Lead Contributor to I, Tonyan” Henry! The very talented and, now, very injured star running back for my once successful fantasy team. Yikes! Stick a fork in me fellas, because I am cooked turkey ready for the famous fall feast! See you next year!
I, Tonyan somehow managed a win after doing a lot of Terry Mc-Not-Scorin on Sunday, scraping out 79 puny Ja’Marr Chase-Bank-Credit-Card points to defeat their aptly named opponent, I Succop Cock. Cock was not the only bad taste in ISC’s mouth, as they got served a heaping bowl of Green Tee Figgs-and topped with a generous scoop of Kale Sherbet. (It’s week 8 guys, the well of puns is starting to dry up). After receiving negative 1 points from the Suckaneers D, I, Tonyan was left with only thoughts and Matt Prayers of winning the highly touted matchup. Thankfully, I,T had a fantastic date night with Netflix-and-Elijah Mit-Chill, who brought 19 points and a bottle of Derrick Hennessy.
I, Tonyan may be down but we are certainly not out. We believe in our organization’s commitment to excellence and look to finish out the season strong, regardless of what schlub we trot out there at RB1.