Deceased Sussex Man Found with “Chaotic” Amount of Nut Milk

English paramedics discovered what they described as an “unmanageable stockpile” of non-dairy substitutes at the home of 89 year old Edwin Tyler (no relation to Liv Tyler), who passed of natural causes in late January. Medics were called to the house by a neighbor of Tyler’s and were met with a makeshift suburban warehouse of almond, macadamia, and cashew milks and creamers. The squirreled away haul, has a shelf life of only a few months, but was stored on surplus store racks and makeshift shelves that covered Tyler’s single car garage from floor to ceiling. 

“It’s not the worst thing we’ve found stashed in a dead man’s home, but it’s certainly the nuttiest!” said Trent Grisham, the least funny paramedic in all of her majesty’s land.

Let’s see what people are saying about this: